CAUSES, DANGERS OF WORRY, DEPRESSION / SUICIDE AND ITS REMEDY.

* Have you ever been worried due to one challenge or the other?

* Have you been depressed before?
* Have you had thoughts of ending your life? i.e. committing suicide?

-Yes, l have had causes to worry about issues countless times. I worried a lot when l was looking for admission to enter into a higher institution of learning. It was so bad that those l taught, who borrowed my books, l encouraged to work hard, those l thought that I was better than academically, got admissions while I remained at home alone, lonely, and feeling dejected.

When finally l got admission into a higher institution to study Engineering, as l approached my final year, many suitors from different backgrounds: rich, poor, educated etc. started coming. Again, l got so worried because some of them vowed then that they will marry me even by force. Some said that God spoke to them and due to my Christian upbringing, where I liked people and things of God, l became worried not to offend God. At one time, my friends, especially my roommates started pressuring me to choose one since at the last count, 17 suitors have already come and they think these men are very much okay. To me then, l can’t see what they are seeing because l believed that though they have what it takes to make good husbands, that God was preparing someone different for me.
-To the Glory of God, l got married to my hearthrob, and have since been living very well, have two handsome sons😀 and when l was pregnant for my third child, worry came back again. That period of 9 months was filled with whether it will be another boy or a girl. l really wanted the baby to be a girl. The worry increased my BP a little but my total consolation was in God as He has good plans and gives us our expected ends. Luckily, God granted my desires to the Glory of His name💃😄.

– When l was looking for a job, worry nearly pushed me into depression if not for God’s intervention. Even now that I’m Still working, l am also worried about my salary 😀  becauseit is not as high as I had wanted 😂  being a graduate, a passionate, selfless and devoted person.

I can go on and on to mention the many times worry has taken my peace away. Some were serious and some mild.

Hear this friend, worry is part of life and everybody worries both rich and poor, sick and healthy, religious and pagan, etc. Worry can come at any time in one’s life and many things can trigger worry too. Yes, we encounter worry in one way or the other. The whole world at this difficult and challenging time is in great worry about COVID-19, the right vaccines to use, how they will stop the incessant deaths, or even end it totally.  CORONA VIRUS has put the whole world in a great worry.

A popular author, CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE, said during this COVID-19 and I quote her “My husband is a doctor and each morning when he leaves for work, I worry. My daughter coughs and I worry. My throat itches and I worry.” 😀

                WHAT IS WORRY?

Dictionary describes worry as:

* Being concerned about a situation or problem.
* Thoughts or emotions or actions of negative nature.
* It is also a state of being anxious and troubled over a problem.
* It is feeling uneasy.

People worry for different reasons. One man’s worry may not worry another. People worry about issues, sickness, food, finances, Time, Exam, Marriage, Life partner, family, Epidemic, Wears / clothes, etc.

But hear this again friend…..Worry can also be DANGEROUS.
yes, * it is a dangerous thing.
*It is a murderer.
* It is a killer.

Too much worry or say negative worry can lead to depression.
When you are in situations that call for worry, strive for it not to enter depression because that one is deadly and may lead to suicide.

One can overcome worry by oneself once it is still at the beginning stage…. I call it “positive or normal worry”. But the negative worry, depression and suicide take the Grace of God through the help of Psychologists, Doctors, Counsellors, priests / pastors, etc. to come out of it and most times, it takes time to be eradicated.
We should not allow worry get to a dangerous level of depression.

But, WHY DO WE WORRY? We worry when we do not trust in any of these:-

1. CIRCUMSTANCES:- Certain circumstances must take place in a person’s life and when such situations are not positive, many loose hope and many tend to worry a lot.

2. PEOPLE:– Some people worry because of people around them as we see in relationships. Many cannot be trusted anymore. I heard people asking questions if they can allow their single female friends to spend some days in their house when their husbands are around. Many worry about entrusting their kids to their house help, nannies, home teachers, etc. People are worried about friends who betray their trust. In the presence of the person, they talk good but speak evil at their back.

3. WORLD:- People worry about the world, its uncertainties, ups & downs; good & bad, etc. The world is capable of making or breaking someone. This makes people worry.

4. GOD:- Lastly, people are worried about God, whether He will save them or not, whether their request will be granted or not. They are not sure if God will answer their prayers. They forget that the book of Numbers 23:19 says, ” God is not a man that He should lie or a son of man that He should change His mind. Does He speak and do not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?”
One song says, ” That is why you are called God. What He says He will do, that He will do…”

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT WORRY

Worry eats one up physically by making one to look dull and unhappy all the time. It makes one loose weight. It is true because all the examples l cited above had physical effects on me too. They made me sick all the time. Medically, it gives one anxiety and stress disorder. It gives one HBP. Mentally, it makes one to be unproductive, useless and it magnifies the problem.

Spiritually, It shows lack of faith. (C.f Math 6:25-26)

worry is evil and it is a sin too, because you are telling God that He cannot handle your problem, thereby calling Him a liar. It shows lack of faith too (Math 6:25-26)

How do we then stop worrying?

                  REMEDY TO WORRY

1. FAITH IN GOD:- Opposite of worry is Faith. When worry comes, have total faith in God. Leave all your worries with Him because He cares (1 Peter 5:6-7).
2. PRAYER:- Pray Until Something Happens (PUSH). There is power in prayer. So pray your way out. “Come to me all you who have laboured and are heavy ladened and l will give you rest…(Math11:28)”
3. WORSHIP GOD:– When you are faced with challenges, go to God in praises. It is a spiritual weapon.

               DEPRESSION

This is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how one feels, thinks and acts.
* It causes feelings of sadness.
* It is a mood of disorder.
* It is living in the dark hole.
Depression is the major risk factor for suicide. It is dealier than worry. This has eaten deep into many individuals. Any person at this stage in life needs help and needs to be talked to.

      CAUSES OF DEPRESSION
* Loneliness
* Lack of social support
* Recent stressful life experiences.
* Family history
* Marital / Relationship problems.
* Financial strain.
* Early childhood trauma / Abuse.
* Alcohol / Drug Abuse.
* Unemployment
* Health problems.

            SYMPTOMS AND SIGNS OF                                    DEPRESSION

1.) Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and sadness.
2.) Loss of interest in daily activities
3.) Appetite or weight loss / decrease.
4.) Sleeplessness
5.) Irritability or Anger.
6.) Reckless Behaviour.
7.) Lack of Concentration.
8.) Unexplained Aches and Pains.

* Any of these signs mentioned above should not be neglected. Speak to someone once you notice any of these signs in you or anyone.

With these signs, you can identify depressed souls in you family, school, office, church, gatherings, party etc.

Once identified, please see what you can do to save that soul, else the person might end it (suicide) before you say “Jack”.

               SUICIDE

Suicide is an act of intentionally causing one’s death as a result of:
* Worry
* Depression
* Mental illness
* To escape pain / suffering. etc.

Once a person has reached this stage, it takes the Grace of God and a good counselor (psychologist) to bring that person back.

Never allow yourself to get into this level for it is very dangerous.

REMEDY TO WORRY, DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE.

1.) Reach out to other people:- Talk to your family, friend, mentor, doctor, priest / pastor, etc. Confide in someone close to your heart and unburden your problem. Even if you did not get the solution immediately, believe me you will get a little relief for talking / saying it out.
2.) Get Moving:-
* Get out of the bed….end those echoes, dreams and talks in your head asking you to end your life.
* Take a short walk … Walk around and get some fresh air. This will help to dismiss those evil moods.
* Put some Music … Listen to some good music. It will gladen your soul. It is a healer .
* Dance
3.) Eat good food:- Maintain a good hygiene and stay healthy.
4.) Counselling:- Meet a priest or pastor or any spiritual director, mentor for counselling.
5.) Prayers:- Jesus can do it. Go to Him in prayer. Cast all your worries, depressions and suicide thoughts to Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). He still loves you. He never fails.
– prayer is the key to success. Turn to Him to lead you to a successful path.
“He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, (John 14:6)”.

Friend, why do you want to end your life?
Why are you so bothered and depressed?
Why have you decided to make tears your daily bread?
… Whatsoever problem or trial you are encountering now, just hold on and don’t give up on God. He is still in the business of going around doing good, healing the sick and restoring those in captive (Acts 10:38). He will not forsake you nor pass you by. Let the story of this woman In Mark 5:25 give you hope….She was a woman who had an issue of blood for 12 years.
* For 12 years, she lost blood.
* For 12 years, she suffered a condition that made her a laughing stock.
* For 12 years, she faced a situation that her finances could not contain. Her ailments messed up her finances.
* For 12 years, the affliction lived with this woman.
* For 12 years, she sought help to no avail.
* For 12 years, she suffered sorrows, worries, difficulties, rejections, hopelessness and maybe she was depressed too. May be she thought of ending her life. She might have tried all sorts of things and help here and there. She was full of agonies.

BUT… Despite everything…
# She kept pushing.
# She kept hoping.
# She kept trying.
# She remained alive … and
# SHE SURVIVED IT💃🥁🍾.
– Her problem did not kill her and what she passed through did not have a final say in her life.
She waited patiently until she met Jesus who made a mess of what messed her up.💃😇🥁.
So friend, you too will survive that trial. Jesus can and is able to do it for you. He has not forgotten you. Talk to Him in prayer. Do you know that one small prayer can change your life forever?

Do not underestimate the power of prayer.
I don’t know what you are passing through right now,

but PLEASE, SAY NO TO SUICIDE!

Life is precious. Please keep it. You don’t have right over your life.
* Speak up
* Don’t bottle up
* Don’t die in silence.
* Remember, suicide is not the best option.

Those you are better off are still out there pushing, trying again, still smiling amidst troubles, still keeping strong amidst tears, still managing, still praying, still hoping etc.

#YOURS IS NOT THE WORST#.
Count your blessings, name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has been doing for you.

For those that seem a little better, please identify that dying soul beside you. Notice mood swings, anger, isolation, etc in people around you and help out.

They can be in your school, Hostel, workplace, neighborhood, etc. and help out. People are dying silently and they need help / love.

If you can’t help financially, your prayers, kind words, love, attention, smiles, time, gift, advice, etc can go a long way to give hope to someone.

Don’t make anyone feel worthless because you won’t be happy when the person is no more.

So filter your words before uttering them and cross-check your actions before displaying them.

Learn from Jesus for He is meek and humble of heart ( Mathew 11:29).

Beloved, Please don’t go into depression and when worry comes, PRAY! and wait on God. He is never late!

God bless you.

….by AKUDO MGBEMERE… (Life coach)