One mistake you should never make is to allow yourself to be recruited by someone, to hate another person who hasn’t wronged you.
Hear this: “ We must avoid taking hasty conclusion because of what others are saying about someone else“.
What people say about others, says a lot about them. I am repeating this more directly: The things you say about others, says a lot about you! I can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to see in others.
Character assassination is a pervasive and destructive phenomenon that is found everywhere. You find it in families, churches, organizations, work places, etc.
Wikipedia defines Character assassination as the deliberate, malicious, unjustified and sustained effort to damage the reputation or credibility of an individual.
The Merriam-Webster defines it as the slandering of a person usually with the intention of destroying public confidence in that person.
Athi Murugan defines “Character Assassination” as the act of lowering one’s character in a bid to ruin the character of others.
There are people that take maximum delight in ruining other’s reputation. These set of people have what I will like to call ‘Destructive Tendencies’. They oil their own ego by pulling other people down. PhD (Pull Him/Her Down) syndrome.
False allegations are the most chronic form of mental abuse. When people can’t kill your dreams and purpose, they will try to assassinate your character. There are some people that your spirit will always irritate their demons! Once they realize hating isn’t working they start telling and spreading lies about you. People are assassinated once but ‘Character Assassination’ kills daily! Character assassination is a form of emotional violence against others.’
Someone once said, “A friend of my enemy is my enemy.” One of the things that hinders us from living a fulfilling and inclusive life is bringing past bias and sentiments into present relationships. A friend of your enemy is not necessarily your enemy; it all depends on intentions and contributions. God can use your enemy’s friend to bless you!
7 critical ‘DON’Ts’ that you really need to guard yourself against.
Refusing to getting trapped in them will help you live a more productive, fulfilling and unbiased life. They are:
- Don’t conclude about people because of what others say about them: Never draw up conclusions based on what others tell you about someone. It is a lack of social intelligence that makes people draw conclusions on others based on what other people say about them. I know you’ve heard about emotional and financial intelligence, but there is something called social intelligence. This is the kind of intelligence that keeps you sane even when others are trying to pollute your mind against someone else until you have thoroughly confirmed the veracity of the claims before you. Judges are trained to have this kind of intelligence in order to avoid biased judgments.
2. Don’t inherit other people’s enemy: It is total lack of education and enlightenment when you automatically make your friend’s enemies your own. Don’t make people your enemies just because they are not in good terms with your friends.
3. Don’t use your children as weapons of war:
God can use your enemies to bless your children! The Elder people says that your children are for signs and wonders. Stop using them to fight those you don’t like. Your children will need to discern their enemies for themselves; never use your parental influence to make your children hate others. You may often need to guard them with their choice of friends but never plant the seed of discord in the heart of your children against someone else.
4. Don’t gang up with others to hate someone: Don’t join the majority to hate someone – you may realize that the person has no offense. Someone said, “If you don’t see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears. Don’t invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth”. Never join the multitude to hate someone else.
5. Don’t be used as weapon in other people’s battle: It is not every battle that you must involve yourself in. Refuse to be used as weapons in other people’s battle. When people fight dirty, refuse to take sides. Observe deeply before concluding finally.
6. Don’t hate people just because they don’t behave like you: That someone is not your tribe doesn’t make them your enemy. It is a waste of education if the only people you like are those that are like you. The greatest proof of our education is in how we respond to people whose opinions are different from ours. People who think their opinions are superior to others are most prone to overestimating their relevant knowledge and ignoring chances to learn more.
The people who don’t think like you are your greatest source of enlightenment. It is normally people that are not like us that help us grow the most. Companies that had maximized growth are really those that value diversity and inclusion.
7. Don’t judge people until you know the whole story: Someone once said, “Beware of the half-truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half”. Don’t judge other people’s choices without understanding their reasons.
If people say something bad about you or judge you as if they know you, don’t easily get affected. Remember this, dogs bark if they don’t know the person. People who are intimidated by you, talk about you with hopes that others won’t find you so appealing.
WHAT THEY DO
Stay away from people who talk bad about others daily; these kind of people carry a negative spirit, and a negative spirit is contagious. The real problem is not that they are unhappy about others, but they are unhappy with themselves.
Stop the destructive habit of talking about people behind their back. Talking badly about someone else while they aren’t there to defend themselves says more about you than the person you’re talking about. When you have issues with people, try and discuss it with them. Stop discussing it with others. Someone once said, “Don’t talk about me until you have talked to me”. Stop spreading false information and rumours about others.
Stop creating walls of contention, rather help build bridges of understanding.
©️ Imaga Amos
There are people who take maximum delight in damaging other people’s reputation. All they want is to pull him down, to hear of his downfall.
If they can’t be greater than you, you are not on their level, or you are greater than them, they begin to work to bring you down. They don’t want one to be ahead or greater than them. Thus, they defame and talk ill about that person. They will not come out to appreciate one’s good deeds, dressing, achievement, but are secretly admiring and checking on that person.
But the worst of it all is not the character assassination, GIVING IN TO THAT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION. But why will you allow that to take away your joy and make you stop your deeds, just because of what they said about you? You don’t need to be sad or stop your good smiles, deeds, dressings, happiness, etc. If you do so, then, you have helped them to succeed.
WHAT TO DO
All you need do is to increase your happiness, good deeds and pray to God never to be at the mercy of your destroyers or to start begging them of anything. With that, you have conquered them.
Also stay away from people people who talk bad about others daily, these kind of people carry a negative spirit and it is contagious. What people say about others, says a lot about them.
GOD CAN HELP
If you struggle with Character Assassination, remember that we have the wonderful Holy Spirit in us to remind us when our thoughts, words and actions are going in the wrong direction.
Ask Him to turn your suspicious thoughts/words into thoughts/words of love.
Before you do anything, you must quickly check with your spirit to see if the thing you are about to do is OK. If you have peace, then proceed. But if you are uncomfortable, confused or frustrated, be calm.
Every time you choose to listen and follow the Holy Spirit’s promptings, your spirit will grow stronger in God and more of God’s power is released in your life.
St Paul said that he pursued discipline and avoided worldly desires so that he could walk blameless and guilt-free before God. The same applies to us. Walking in the confidence of a clear conscience will keep us free and happy.
I encourage you today to live in a way that will keep your conscience clear. Don’t do things you know you shouldn’t, and rely on God’s discernment when you’re facing an issue you’re not sure about. He will never lead you wrong.
Yield to the Holy Spirit today and follow His promptings, then you will grow in the same discernment that Jesus walked in.
👉 Remember, even if one has wronged you , it’s not necessary to destroy one’s image or character by speaking ill of that person. It is very bad and it can kill individual slowly.