SOME LOCKDOWN QUESTIONS FROM MY CHILDREN

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SCENE 1

UCY: (Ucy is my second son). Haa Mummy, you bought mango.
Mum: yes dear….(smiles)
UCY: Mummy, why is MANGO called….MAN, GO?
Mum: turned😳😨,smiled, hmmmm, Ucy, May be you can ask Daddy since he is a man. He might know the exact answer.
UCY: ok mummy let me go and ask him
But, do we still have WOMAN GO since we have MAN GO? Then, when they are many, will it be MENGO and WOMENGO??

Mum: Ucy, please can allow me to concentrate and cook this food? Go and ask Daddy he has answers to every question.

SCENE 2

UCY: (Talking to his yonger sister Meme). Meme, get out from here.
Mum: Cuts in immediately. Ucy you don’t use such harsh words. Talk politely.
UCY: But ehm Mummy, GET OUT is just a sister to GO AWAY.
Mum: 🀐😷dumbfounded and couldn’t talk again.

SCENE 3

Everybody in the parlour eating fruits.
UCY: Ehm Mummy, if BANANA is a sister to PLANTAIN, then what is the sister to ORANGE?
Mum:πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”ok, is TANGERINE and Watermelon.
KIDS: πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒyes, Mummy you are right.
Mum: waooohπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜€

SCENE 4

Mum: ln the kitchen doing her things as usual.
CASSY: (Cassy is my first son). Mummy, with soft and low voice.
Mum: Turned, yes dear, what is it?
CASSY: Mummy l am very very sorry for l want to tell you.
Mum: Surprised, dropped her things and said, ok, go ahead.
CASSY: Will you forgive me if l tell you the something? With sober face, bent neck, hands together.
Mum: Chinemerem (l called his Native / lgbo name), please, say what you want to say. I have forgiven you already. What is it Biko (please)?
CASSY: Mummy, l first switched off your Data ooo.
Mum: okay…
CASSY: Then l downloaded two games .
Mum: hmmmmmmmm, how?
CASSY: Yes, there are some games you can play without Data πŸ™„πŸ˜².
But Mummy, the problem is that as l was playing my game ooo, l just decided to check your Data, l saw it was on. I don’t know if l downloaded the game with your Data ooo?
That’s why l said let me tell you first.
Mum: Shouted C-H-I-N-E-M-E-R-E-M oooooooooooooooo, l hope you have not used up my Data ooo?
CASSY: No ma, l don’t think so.
Mum: hmmmmm….. l continued with her work
CASSY: Mummy, one last thing please (stressing the word ‘please’)πŸ™
Mum: Chinemerem, Biko obu gini in lgbo Language? Meaning, What is it?
CASSY: Please don’t delete my games.πŸ™ Can l go now and play the games?
And l will like to play the games tomorrow too.
Mum: hiiiieeeeayaaaaa, inukwanu mu ooo.
Biko go. ( Hmm, see me o. Please go.) Do whatever you want to do, l have enough Data. Just leave me alone let me concentrate in what I’m doing.
CASSY: Dancing, calling his siblings, Ucy and Meme to join and play games.

SCENE 5

UCY: Mummy, if Daddy is the Head of the family.
Who then is the Neck, Eye and the Mouth of the family?
Mum: Laughed. We don’t have the neck, eye and mouth of the family. We only have the HEAD of the family and that, is Daddy. But, Mummy can be the neck of the family and you the children, the eyes and mouths of the family.
UCY: Okay, it is true. Then who are the hands and the legs of the family?
Mum: Biko, hapu m aka (Please, leave me alone).

SCENE 6

Nmesomachukwu (That is, Meme). Please pray for us.
MEME: ln Jesus name we pray.
All: (Daddy, Mummy, Cassy and Ucy). All, echoed, Amen.

MEME: ln the mighty name of Jesus
All: Amen
MEME: Father, bless my Daddy, my Mummy, Kaka, Uuu, Aunty, uncle and everybody in Jesus name we pray.
All: Amen.
MEME: Father make us to sleep very well, wake up, watch TV, eat, play and sleep again in Jesus name amen
All: Silence everywhere.
MEME: you will not say amen?
All: Laughing and saying amen.

Just imagine what they want to do in this lockdown just to eat and enjoy themselves. Every now and then, their mouths are moving, eating and asking for more.

SCENE 7

UCY: Mummy l want biscuit and drink.
Mum: Hmmm, it’s finished o. You people have finished everything here, so leave me alone.
UCY: But mummy, Juma (The Security Man) sells biscuits and drinks. And if we are in school, we take snacks too.
Mum: Shouting, Is not every time that you see money in the bag. Biko leave me joor.
These children, do they think we pluck money from the tree?
Somebody help me tell them that we are on LOCK-DOWN, PERIOD!πŸ˜„

SCENE 8

UCY: Mummy, what are you cooking for us?
Mum: l have finished cooking. It is Jellof rice with fried plantain. See it. l opened the pot.
UCY: hmmmmmm, Sweet (dancing and smiling). I like it.
Mum: Thank you my dear.
UCY: Mummy, you are the best “COOKER”😲 in the whole wide world. And if you go for cooking competition, you will win.
Mum: Really? Oh thank you my dear. I hugged him.
MEME: (came in). Yes, mummy is a good “GIRL”πŸ˜²πŸ™† πŸ˜„.

SCENE 9

Ucy: Mummy, why do you call your Tabulate, an IPad?
Is it an eye and a pad?
Mum: Professor Ucy, do not start today again. Leave me.

SCENE 10

Dad: Ucy, pray for us.
After all the beautiful prayers. He added, “Lord, make my Daddy to change his car. He has used it too much. I want Jeep”πŸ˜„πŸ€£πŸ˜€.
KIDS: Laughing
Dad: Silent with a tight face.
Mum: Very happy and shouted a big ‘Amen’.πŸ˜„

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