DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CAN BE DEATH TO THE ABUSED

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A popular Nigerian gospel singer, Mrs. Osinachi Nwachukwu better known by one of her hit songs, “EKWUEME”, is reported to have died since Friday, 8th April, 2022. Growing information about the cause of death is that it was through domestic violence. Accounts from people close to her indicate that the husband kicked her on the chest which made her to be on life support for 5 days before she eventually died. Her eldest sister confirmed that she was constantly abused and died as a result of blood clot from injuries she received from her husband. She also said that the late singer has been advised to quit the toxic marriage but she always refused saying that the husband will change with time. Unfortunately, she is no longer alive to see the change she has patiently waited and prayed for.
What a waste and loss of a unique God-given talent? Her songs usually bring down the glory and presence of God, sometimes making some people to have goose pimples while listening to her. She wanted to look good on the outside so that people will not have a negative image about her. She was busy hiding her pains for the sake of what people will say and now people are truly saying things.
WHAT TO DO IN FACE OF VIOLENCE
When one is faced with violence, always expose the evil and do not keep quiet when you are suffering. We don’t need to spiritualize our problems while staying with it. We have to walk away any from any form of violence while praying for the person from a distance to avoid stories that touch the heart. It is said that “He, who runs away from danger, lives to fight another day”. It is therefore advisable to run away from that spouse that threatens to kill us by any means. Marriage is a very good institution but should not be a do or die affair especially when violence is involved. Could it be the vow on the wedding day, “For Better, for Worse, till death do us part”, that held her down until the avoidable death now separated them? Is it not better to live as a single woman/man than to die in the hands of a spouse because of marriage?

DOES GOD APPROVE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Whatever made the late singer to remain in that toxic marriage despite constant life threatening violence can never be from God. There’s nothing religious or righteous about enduring life threatening violence just because we want to remain married. If your partner beats you at every opportunity and puts your life in danger, you have to save yourself by walking away from the marriage.
See what God says about Violence in Malachi 2:14-15,..14 “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.”
God said no man should deal treacherously with his wife which is a clear indication that he is against violence in marriage. A lot of things are really happening in this day and age. Everyone needs to really take care of their spiritual, emotional, psychological, and mental balance because nobody will do it for you. No person should be an abuser of his/her spouse. Most times women run their mouths and verbally abuse their men and this should not be so. Let us be careful and stop using our mouths to kill our husbands.
Violence of any kind is evil and the Lord does not like it, (c.f Psalm 11:5, “The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.”

SOME OF THE THINGS THAT MAKE PEOPLE STAY IN LIFE THREATENING RELATIONSHIPS?

  1. Some people find it very difficult to exit an abusive relationship when their partner is their only source of sustenance. It is therefore advisable for everyone to have a source of income no matter how small they may be. In the case of the late singer, she was already a celebrity who is financially capable of taking care of herself and her children in the event of divorce or separation. Unfortunately, her unique selling point is her gospel songs which will be greatly affected if not dead in the event that she quit her marriage. We have a religious mindset in the country and are expected to cover up even when we are dying.
    Come to think of it, no Christian Organization would have given her an opportunity to sing again in a church programme. Our religious mindset somehow contributed to her death too. The bigger problem is that there are many couples who are in worse situations than she found herself but are not willing to quit their marriages.
  2. Fear of leaving their children. Women are generally reluctant to walk away from abusive relationships because they still want to cater for their children. They are usually afraid that the children will be maltreated once another woman moves into the house.
  3. Fear of what people will say. People are always afraid of what family, friends, neighbours, church members etc. will say when they learn that they no longer live with their spouses. That fear makes a lot of women especially to remain in abusive relationships which sometimes lead to the death of one of the couple. It is better to save your life first and then fix it from a distance if possible.
    Common Causes of Domestic violence among couples
    Lack of trust
    Greed
    Jealousy
    Show of power or authority
    Not wanting your wife or husband to be greater than you
    Control of the affairs in the house
    Financial problem
    Keeping extramarital affairs
    Prayerlessness
    Nagging spouses
    Evil attack, witches and wizards attack
    Curses
    Lack of mutual understanding of one another
    Drunkenness, whether the man or woman
    Competition
    Un-submissiveness
    Lack of love
    Not satisfying each other sexually

But, in this case under discussion, l think, there is a combination of accumulated hatred from the man, jealousy, and show of authority.
Prov. 10:12 says, “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins”.

Also, Jealous people who do not want peace in that family or the progress of OSINACHI, might have cast a spell on the husband and turned his heart against her.
Yes, evil people can creep into a Christian home through one of a prayer-less person in the house. It could be through the maid……and from there get the targeted one, hence one behaves abnormal. The person might look as if he knows what he is doing whereas he is being controlled from the spiritual realm.

WHAT WILL BE THE FATE OF OSINACHI’S HUSBAND MR PETER NWACHKWU?
The Bible says, “…6 On the wicked he will rain fiery coals and burning sulfur; a scorching wind will be their lot. 7 For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice, the upright will see his face.”
OSINACHI, tried. She endured long. She covered him too much and waited patiently for him to change, through prayers and submission to his orders.
How l wish she survived all these tortures, sleepless nights, worries, agonies, etc.
In one of her songs….”The cry you will cry when the saints are gone, cry it now when they are still around”.
It was as if she was indirectly talking to her husband to make up with her now not when she has gone.
I have been asking if the OSINACHI’s husband use to listen to his wife’s songs at all❓ because her songs are full of inspiring messages.
What kind of dead conscience, unrepentant heart is that man❓ Or was he under a spell, controlled by some evil forces to frustrate his wife and her career? If the answer is yes, then he deserves mercy as he was not mentally stable. But if the answer is No, then Osinachi signed her death warrant. What will make a woman forget her roots because of a man? Sincerely, OSINACHI acted as if she was under a spell not to complain or leave the marriage, but to suffer and die in marriage.

LET US PRAY
I pray for every couple reading this, that your spouse will not be violent and if you are passing through violence already, may God reverse the irreversible in your marriage and cause violence to stop in Jesus name, Amen.
Father, through your power, may anyone that is being abused be set free.
Let every form of abuse in our marriages end today in Jesus name, Amen.
For our daughters, may violent and evil men never cross their path in Jesus name, Amen. Their husbands will never abuse them in Jesus name, Amen.
Our sons will marry right. No violent woman will cross their path. They will never make a wrong choice in Jesus name, Amen.
Father, may we always apply godly wisdom in the affairs of our marriages.
May we not be the cause of our own problems.
May justice be served in this case in Jesus name Amen.

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